HOA Hate

Well, plain and simple, I hate HOAs.  Back in the 90’s an HOA Management company was one of my largest customers.  We did things for every property they managed.  We had to mail out sheets every quarter to all residents, each year there was the board vote, information sheets and so on.  There was also letterhead and envelopes as well as violation notice forms.  Up to that point I had never encountered an HOA myself, so I just ignored most of what I printed, as long as they paid me.

In 2005 I moved into a sub-division that had an HOA.  It wasn’t a huge one like some places, with our dues being only $15 per month.  The only thing they covered was maintenance of the drainage ponds that were required . Lovely bit of information, the village required the builders to build and maintain the drainage ponds as part of their permit process.  So the builder just ‘starts’ an HOA and passes the ‘ownership’ of the ponds to the residents, who are now required to maintain them.

ANYWAY, In June of 2005 we move into my house. 2 truckloads and several loads from friends and family and we have it all here, stuffed in the garage and all over.  The first night we just get unpacked whatever we needed then and went to bed.  I threw the empty boxes on the porch that night and when I got up in the morning I took them with me to my work and threw them away there.  Three days later we get a letter from the HOA basically yelling at us because we had ‘refuse on our front porch’ and that is against the rules.  We have 3 days to remove said refuse or face a fine.  OK, the boxes were gone by 6:30 that morning, so that means that between 9PM and 6:30 AM, somebody saw the boxes and ratted me out like we were in East Fucking Berlin.

Over the years we have received several letters from the HOA for one thing or another.  Our garbage pickup is Tuesday morning, so everyone puts cans out on Monday.  Well, MOST people in my neighborhood do yard work on Sunday and put the yard waste bags out then.  Nope, got letters for that.  One time when my kids were younger, they must have lost some toys in the snow.  I come out in the morning, snow is melted and I see toys in the yard.  So I put them in the garage and go to work.  You got it, we got a letter about that.  For 5 years straight we got a letter around  September bitching that the trim around our garage was flaking and needed to be painted. We decorate our house BIG TIME around Halloween, and one time we didn’t remove all the gutter hooks we used to hold things up.  We got a damn letter for that as well.

We just got one last week for having moss on our siding.  The north side of all the houses here, with all the rain, sun, rain, sun mix gets mossy.  So we get our statement and there is a $25 fine on it for that.  Now I am pissed, because we got no notice about that.  They usually send you a letter, this time went right to fine.  So I called and left them a message complaining (to the management company) saying we got no notice and I would like for them to show me that they sent me notice before I pay anything.  3 days later I get a notice, dated the day I called to complain.  WTF!  Of course I can get nobody on the phone with this shutdown, so who knows what the heck is going on.

Now, most of you that know me know that I have a temper and occasional anger issues.  All of these events made me angry and elicited many, many swear words from me.  None led to violence.  HOWEVER, if I were to be any of the residents that received this letter in THIS story, somebody would be competing with all the COVID patients for medical care.

“It has come to our attention that you are in violation of Article VII, Section 8 of our Bylaws” which state that “Commercial business may not be maintained or transacted on any Lot or in any residential unit.” As a result, “we will be invoking section II, Article 4 of the Bylaws, which allows the Board to foreclose on any property that is in violation.” The HOA president demands, “You must vacate the premises by April 30, 2020.”

OK, so you are on lockdown, CAN’T go to work, and some asshole HOA guy wants to take your house?  Not gonna happen. The story mentions that the letter itself lacks all of the legal items needed to do that.  But the fact that some guy had the audacity to actually send that out is just wrong.  I believe that person is what they made tar and feathers for…


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