It’s been a while since I had a truly pissed off printer moment on here. Most have been retelling of past experiences, as well as other things to help entertain you and soothe my soul. But this week has been a doozy.
My store is open during all this crap. We service a lot of the restaurants trying to stay afloat as well as doctor’s offices and such. To help mitigate our risks, Bossman and myself are doing alternate days, with both of us here on Wednesdays. One will do nothing but deliveries and then next week we switch. Only one day into this week I have hit my limit of stupidity.
It isn’t the Mary Kay lady wanting to come in and talk to me while we work out an order pad for her to use at her upcoming house demonstrations. You know, the ones she is NOT having right now due to ‘social distancing’. It isn’t the 3 ‘project moms’ that came in and wasted 20+ minutes each in conversations that really could have waited. No, it is the lazy-ass morons who I have to interact with on the phone who want to use speaker phone but have no f*cking clue how to do so. Here are a few tips:
- TAKE THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH BEFORE TALKING! OK, that may have been over the top, but seriously, speak clearly. The microphones are not the best in the phones and neither are most people’s receivers. The more you mumble and slur your words, the harder it is to understand you.
- Face the microphone when you are talking. When you keep talking but turn away to do something else, we can tell. Even if we can’t make out what crap you are saying, we can tell by the decreased volume that you either moved back or turned your head
- press the mute button if you are going to couch. That’s just rude to not do that.
- For some reason, microphones, even crappy ones, can pick up sounds from food packaging clearer than they can your voice. When I am playing Xbox, one of my regular peeps is always eating crackers. When he opens the pack is sounds like he is crumpling it up right in my ear instead of 3 feet from the microphone. When you are eating potato chips while I am trying to place an order, I CAN TELL.
- Be professional. I can hear other people in the background complaining about being there. STFU or go home. In other words, do your damn job.
That’s about it. Now work or go home already.