Christmas is almost here, less than a week away.  We got a little snow here and it is cold, so on that aspect it sure feels like Christmas.  But much like Thanksgiving, myself and Mrs. TPoP are just not feeling it. It’s mostly dealing with my brother-in-law. Things just get weirder and more of a hassle by the day!  When I last posted they were trying to transfer him somewhere that could look after him, since he now claims that he can’t walk.  An emergency room visit confirmed that there was no PHYSICAL reason he couldn’t walk, it was just his f*cked up brain acting out telling his body to stop working.  So on the day before Thanksgiving, shortly after I wrote the Thanksgiving post, I drove off to pick him up in Nashville.  Since he wouldn’t walk, they couldn’t have him there.  Any other care place down there was full, so I had to get him by Thursday.  I stopped on the way down, since I was unable to leave here until about 6 PM, and managed to make it to the place at 10 AM Thanksgiving. There I find my BIL sitting in a chair, looking like the crazy Nick Nolte, claiming his legs won’t work.  After signing all the paperwork we tried to get him to the car.  At first he was walking, albeit very slow and with help. But once he got to the front door, all of a sudden ‘he can’t walk’.  I literally had to carry him to the car.
Much to his surprise we didn’t go home.  For hours I didn’t say anything, let him think he was going home.  Finally he noticed some road signs and asked where we were headed.  Well we had decided that he was going to South Carolina to stay with the other brother for a bit.  Since we plan on moving there eventually, might as well get him a head start on it. It didn’t start out good, however. Once there, same crap.  He says his legs won’t work.  So once again I have to carry him from the car to the house.  Now a new adventure begins.  The new house here is a very old house, so it has narrow halls and doorways.  The bathroom is also very narrow. So you can imagine the difficulties in dragging a limp BIL from place to place.  We got him a wheel chair but even that was limited.  We can get into most rooms but the bathroom was off limits to the chair and required a lot of carrying.  And it was like moving dead weight as he did nothing to help.  In fact, I can feel his legs working AGAINST me as I grab his pant leg to move a leg forward.  I have to admit that my anger swelled to extreme levels and it took acts of will power I didn’t know I had to not yell at him. We also took him to the emergency room out there to have them run all the same tests and confirm that there was zero physical reason that he could not walk.  It’s all mental.  So for the whole weekend I stayed with them to help them try and get a routine going.  We arranged for a physical therapist to come out and work with him.  Mental or not, if he isn’t walking his muscles will atrophy and that is bad.  We also arranged for an in home care person to come out and help when the sis in law is there by herself.  Work also started getting him declared disabled since he will likely never get well enough to hold down a job again.  Lots of paperwork and red tape with this process and a lawyer will probably have to be retained.
I came home after that weekend so the rest is what I get thru texts and phone calls.  He seems to be repeating the same patterns as when he was here.  He has started getting a little better.  His shaking stopped, he talks a bit more and was walking around the house on his one with a walker and/or leaning on stuff.  He ever asked to go with them when they went out to see some Christmas Festival of Lights parade.  They Facetime called us while there and he seemed happy for a change.  Privately I talked to them and told them to be very vigilant with him as his pattern has been to improve right up until 3 or 4 days before his psych assessment, and then he backslides hard.  Like his brain wants to sabotage it. Sure enough, earlier this week he started shaking again, rolling out of the bed and regressing in his therapy.  As of today when I am writing this (Wednesday) he is scheduled for his assessment Thursday.  We’ll see what happens.  This is just so draining that it is taking away the joy of the season.
Well, most of it. Mrs. TPoP and I decided against pulling out all 20 Christmas boxes this year as well as putting up the full tree and opted for a smaller tree that required less rearranging of the living room. We still grabbed names from the trees that have needy families on them, in fact, we grabbed a few extra.  In a church group we are in we adopted a whole family and went nuts on stuff for them. I have my best friend coming to spend this weekend at my house and family events from now until Christmas.  And we will attend all with joy in our hearts and love for our family, friends and people in general.  It just feels different this year.  2019 started off with a gut-shot about my dad and continued with the complete degradation of my brother in law, surrounded by health and financial woes.  I want to thank everyone of you for reading my ramblings.  I know sometimes I go off on a political deep end, but hopefully it is at least entertaining. I know most of you and appreciate your friendship. And we will rejoice in the celebration of the birth of Christ.  I will be taking the rest of the year off as BIL and other things will be putting a huge strain on time.  I also need a little bit to mentally recharge.  I have 7 posts started that I just can’t seem to finish.  Perhaps a 2 week vacation will be the push I need to get over that hump.  May you all have  a Merry Christmas and a Happy New year.

4 thoughts on “

  1. Merry Christmas to you and the Mrs Frank. Sorry to hear about your brother in law! I’ll be praying for you! I’m not feeling Christmas either at this point but I’m sure I will. You are doing the right things. Keep the faith!

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