BIL Update – November

OK, sorry no funny again, just life.  When last i updated things were pretty grim for BiL. Well they got worse still for a bit.  Walking around the neighborhood in his underwear, not eating, not cleaning himself and so on, he was just becoming a shell of himself.  He made yet another trip to our house in his bare feet, although this time he was at least wearing clothes.  Week old clothes, but still clothes.  So we cleaned him up, fed him and took him home.  We then had a sit down with him as he was about as lucid as we had seen him in a long time.

Basically what we did was play him his options.  We told him that he had about 3 paths of things that could happen.  The first was he can continue as he is with his psychotic episodes and wandering about until he is killed by someone or something.  His second choice was that he would get picked up by the police and put in jail and/or forced into a mental hospital for probably a long, long time.  We then reminded him how much he hated those places.  We then told him a third option was this long term in patient facility located in Tennessee.  It costs A LOT OF MONEY, and will take a lot of time, but with only 8 people at a time int he program he would get the individualized care and attention he needs.  Care that would get his medicines stabilized so that he can start caring about himself again.  Care so that he can learn how to be a person again.  And maybe learn some upgraded life skills while he is at it, like making fiends and talking to people.  He asked us a few questions about the place that were pretty good questions and then said that he would like to try that.

Well that made us happy.  Now we are back on the ‘Save BiL’ train.  So the next day I bring him some food and make sure he has showered.  Wife and I help him clean the house a bit and we make plans for this place.  it involves a 2 day ‘interview’ process and then a half day of admissions before he can go in.  So it was arranged that the next week he and Mrs. TPoP would travel to TN and take care of this.  They were going to fly down on a Sunday and then she would come back by herself on Thursday.  So we have one week to make sure nothing happens before they leave.  So Monday that week we stop by and check on him.  No change. Tuesday we stop by, no change.  Then Tuesday night, the damn phone calls start again around 1 AM.  After the third I just put the phone off the hook. Then around 3:30, I wake up to see a flashlight shining thru our bedroom window!  (We are on the second floor)  Now I am pissed.  So I storm downstairs and open the door (in my undies) to yell at his as and to my surprise there are two Joliet cops standing there.  Oh boy, what happened now?  turns out when I stopped answering he started calling 911 again.  12 times!  So the cops were going to arrest him, then found out he was bat-shit crazy and wanted to admit him to the local hospital, but if THEY did it, he could check himself out in 12 hours.  So somehow he mentioned us and they came to see if we could admit him so he had to stay for 3 days.  We said sure.  Then when they found out we were going to send him out of state in a few days they rushed to vacate the arrest, otherwise he couldn’t leave the state!  he got a $200 ticket instead, and 3 days int he mental hospital.

So Saturday comes and he gets released to us, with his flight Sunday.  Saturday is uneventful as he just sits there like a zombie.  Sunday they got to Nashville OK, but Sunday night got weird.  Lots of issues with hygiene and just staring right thru you like you said nothing had wife calling me at 1 AM crying that she doesn’t know what to do.  Not much I can do a few states away but I listened and reassured as best I could.  She finally got him to clean up and go to sleep around 2:30.  The next day at admissions went well, or at least as well as could be expected.  he as usual didn’t talk much and couldn’t remember a thing but did the tests and things and when they got back to the hotel that night he fell asleep by 10 PM.  Tuesday at the facility was also good but Tuesday night was a repeat of Sunday night.  It’s like around 9 or 10 his brain just shuts off and he doesn’t know what is going on.  Wednesday came and the place wanted to admit him but said his meds and hygiene need to be stabilized before they do that.  So wife spent all day Wednesday getting him admitted to a psych place in Nashville.  Thursday she came home and for the next week and a half we tried to not worry about things.

Monday of this week he was transferred from the mental place to his new facility.  The first few weeks will just be getting him to be a human again.  We had a video conference with the therapist about goals (without BiL) and a phone conference with the psych guy today.  Not much to report so far except that he is being his usual self, not wanting to participate in anything.  He was always that way and even more so now.  He is under a ‘no communications’ blackout for at least a month, which means no calls or visits.  The goal is to get him to reply on himself or the staff there first instead of us states away. I agree with that approach, but we’ll see how that works. We managed to get his retirement transferred to pay for his first few months, now to get the paperwork to have his 401k transferred into something he can access to pay for care without huge penalties.  Sometimes I wonder how places get scammed into changing/cashing out accounts with all the hoops we are having to jump thru to get BiL’s transferred after he got fired.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s