Oct, 1998

On the day above, well, around October 6th, I received in the mail a card.  I know, many of you younger people are confused by ‘mail’ and received a card’, but trust me it was a thing that happened back in the day.  So  I get the card addressed to me, with a Chicago Heights postmark (the local post office) and no return address.  I open the envelope and inside is a card. The front has a drawing of a woman and it says ‘Do you know why most blond jokes are never longer than 2 lines “?  I open the card and inside it says ” So men can understand them too!”  Yeah, kinda funny.  The real funny, and mysterious part, is that it is signed by potentially several people, but with no names. In different handwriting you can see signatures of ‘a REAL blonde’, ‘a blonde’, ‘another blonde’, ‘a strawberry one’, ‘a fake one’ and several more. Cute!  Now, who sent this?

My first guess was my mother.  She is blonde and used to get kinda mad when I told blonde jokes.  She does have a sense of humor and this sounds like something she would do.  She worked at the local grade school so would have no problem getting other ladies to sign it for different handwriting.  She denies any and all knowledge of it other than what I have posted here and on facebook.

I then thought perhaps one of the many women I dated in college.  Several were blondes and I remained friends with some of them, so this could be a light-hearted dig from one or more of them.  I contacted the few I still knew and they denied it, but laughed about it quite a lot. This was pre-Facebook so contacting them was a bit harder.

Lastly I thought perhaps my wife was making a subtle, yet funny, dig at my pre-wife dating history.  She is NOT a blonde, but could have faked the signatures.  No dice.  However she also thinks it is hilarious.

So I keep the card in a junk drawer.  Several years later I stumble upon it and since Facebook now exists, I scanned it to there and tried to get the culprit to out themselves and claim the glory of mystifying me for over a decade.  While I had many ladies comment on the thread about how much they liked it, nobody copped to it. (Although mom sounded a bit fishy in her reply…)

Fast-forward to NOW, and still nobody has claimed their glory.  It appeared on my ‘on this day’ a few weeks ago so I reposted it in the hopes that someone would finally like to gloat, but alas either the culprit had the will power of a saint or hasn’t seen the post.  Someday I will know, and make sure to give proper glory to the prankster supreme.

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