Storm chasers

Here in the lovely south suburbs of Illinois we have been getting a lot of storms lately.  Where I am at is prone to tornadoes and just generally lots of fast wind. I often find my deck furniture rearranged in the morning from the blasts.  We also have gone thru 2 patio tables before we decided to just forego an umbrella on the table.  We have had 2 just shatter from the wind ripping the umbrella out of the table (once it was left open, the other it was closed and bungie corded shut!). One year I got one of those canopies with a metal frame for the deck so we can have some shade or rain protection out there. The day after we put it up it was in the neighbor’s back yard bent beyond recognition.  We tried it one more time using 3″ wood screws to secure it to the deck.  As you might have guessed, we had to replace a few pieces of decking a few weeks later.  So to set the background here, we get a lot of wind in my area. As a result of that we often get storm chasers coming by offering to inspect your roofd and siding for hail and wind damage, no cost to you!

Our story today concerns one called Illinois One.  I don’t know them as a company and tried looking them up and can’t really find anything. Type that into google or bing and you don’t get anything remotely like a roofing company.  Most likely it is something set up on the fly from somebody out of state trying to solicit business and then hires a local contractor to do the work.  Pretty fishy setup all around, and when they don’t pay the sub contractor they hired, YOU get slapped with a Mechanics lien on your house and you have to pay a second time just to get it removed. Meanwhile the original company has folded up and is nowhere to be found.  Well for some reason they have been calling my cell phone trying to solicit business.   “Hi TPoP, I’m Mark (in a Indian accent) from Illinois One.  Perhaps you have seen our signs in your area due to the recent storm damage.  We’ll be in your area providing quality repair work to many of your neighbors and would love to come by and give you a free estimate of repairing any damage you may have.  Can we schedule an appointment?” Now the one thing I didn’t mention is that when they mention my name, they call me by the legal version of my name.  NOBODY calls me that except the mom of an old friend and my deceased grandmother. So the moment they say my name I know it is a sales call.  I say no thanks and hang up.

Well that call has repeated itself about 7 times now over the course of a week.  I have tried being nice (I know, ME being nice?), asking to be removed from their list, to no avail.  I swore like a sailor at the last one who admirably stayed on the line for about 30 seconds.  So yesterday I am playing in a poker tournament.  I am waiting on a contractor to call me about replacing a door when I get a call from a number that I don’t recognize, but its about the time he is supposed to call me.  So I fold my hand and go answer it.  “Hi TPoP, this is Mitch (in yet another non-American accent)…”.  So I let him finish and then say yes, I would LOVE to have someone come out.  I kept them on the phone for about 10 minutes, since the game had just gone on a break, figuring I would waste as much time as possible here.  So I gave them the address of the guy 2 houses down who doesn’t speak English. Only one of the kids there does so that should be fun. The address is the same except the last 2 numbers transposed, so if they call back I can just say it was a dyslexic moment for me, come to my real address.  And then I will just waste as much time of theirs as I can in person.  I figure 30 minutes should be good.  I can string him along at eats that much.  If he calls back I’ll update this.  But for now, go f*ck yourself, Illinois One.

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