I remembered this shortly after I posted about the assholes spitting in the cop’s food, and figured I would make a new post instead of an add-on.
Back in 1984, I was at college in a small town. As with most colleges back in that time there was always a tension between townies and students, it seemed. Well one day I got up early after a long night of drinking before and decided that I was hungry. And by early I mean like 10:00 or so. I still felt drunk from the previous night so no driving, instead I walked about a mile down the street to where there was a Burger King. I walked in and ordered a chicken sandwich, no mayo, and then sat down to wait. I could see the cook from where I was seated and watched him make my sandwich, watched the counter person get my fries and drink and then call me for my food. I grab it and sit down and open the sandwich up to find mayo on it. I don’t like mayo. So I go back up and to the best of my memory and fairly polite and ask for a new sandwich. I explain that I can’t stand mayo, can they please make a new one. The counter person apologized and they made me a new one.
I sit down with that one and there is mayo on it. I start fuming a bit but don’t want to make a scene (yet) so I go back up and tell them yet again that I need a new sandwich. I say that I know the sandwich comes with that but I don’t want it. She apologizes yet again and they make me a third sandwich. While I stand there I watch the guy make it I notice that he appears to be a local guy. The girl brings me my sandwich and while standing there at the counter I open it up. You guessed it, mayo yet again. OK now I will make a scene. I grab the sandwich and throw it towards the back at the cook and start screaming. “You want me to come back there and kick your ass? What the f*ck is wrong with you? Come out here you mother f*cker!” among other things come spewing forth from my mouth at a very loud volume. The girl at the counter is clearly afraid now and the cook is slowly moving backwards with a look of terror on his face. A manager comes out from the back somewhere and starts asking me to both calm down and leave at the same time, so I proceed to tell him to f*ck off and that he should fire that cook for being an asshole. Meanwhile a police car pulls up and in walks an officer. Seems someone in the lobby called the popo.
Officer Friendly walks up and asks what’s going on. So I tel him that I ordered a sandwich with no mayo and they gave me mayo. Then did the same thing 2 more times on purpose when trying to get it right. The cook has now quit cowering in the back and made his way up front, emboldened by the cop being there. He has a smirk on his face, sensing my doom. The cop looks at the cook and asks “is this true?” The dumbass didn’t even bother to lie, just said “yeah”. The cop looks at me, then back at him and then says “What the hell is wrong with you? I should beat your ass myself? You don’t mess with food!” He turns to me and says to get out of there and that I should probably go eat at McDonalds for a while and then turns to the cook again and says that if he has to come back here for something like this again he’ll find a way to arrest him. Glad that happened then. if it happened now, I would have been in jail.