Booze and poker rarely mix well

So I played in a charity poker tournament yesterday.  I play in these often, occasionally win money but more often than not I get entertainment for my money. Pay $20 and play cards for 3 hours.  Not bad. There is a company out here that runs these for a different charity every week and the animal shelter I volunteer at uses them 4 times a year (the max allowed here in Illinois). When the events are for our charity I work the event as well as play and manage to make it to several more throughout the year.  I figure I end up going to the events maybe 10 times a year and I win money at least once, last year 3 times.  I am not ahead but not too far behind. My issue is patience and that I need to ‘learn how to win’.  I am not an effective enough ‘bully’ when I manage to become top stack at the table and that I need to improve on.
These events have a bunch of ‘regulars’ that play.  I recognize many people that are there every time I am and know a few by name.  There are also some that I know by ‘reputation’. There is the one guy that shows up every Saturday and is plastered by the end of the night, as well as broke.  There is a deaf couple that shows up often and are quite funny.  There is also a younger couple that shows up often where the wife plays all night and the husband plays maybe one game and just hangs around for the rest of the night drinking. Occasionally this causes some problems as the wife is a very vocal player and often ends up insulting people at the table.  Of course they often insult back and then the drunk husband goes into his dumbass-mode and tries to get involved.
Well Sunday they were both there.  I was not too worried about being around to witness any crap from them as I was only doing the one game and even if I took it to the end I would be out of there by 10 pm.  So as luck would have it the woman was at my table after about an hour in.  She is being her bitchy self and hubby is milling about with drink in hand. She has made several sort-of-under-the-breath comments whenever she is involved in a hand, win or lose. The woman is a decent poker player but makes the same donkey moves occasionally that most of us non-pros make.  And when you luck into something you occasionally get a snide remark from the victim.  So she makes a HUGE call and ends up all in after the flop with an Ace-4 against trip queens.  The next 2 cards manage to give her a flush, much to the dismay of her opponent in that hand.  She rakes in her chips and starts talking smack about making a good call, what was that guy thinking, etc.  I just sit back and waited for the fireworks.  Sure enough the other guy says “That wasn’t a good call, that was a donkey call and you just pulled that out your ass”. Husband’s ears perk up at that and he walks up to the table in full asshole mode.  “What did you say?” he almost screams at the guy.  Now apparently this guy must know this act or seen it before from them because he wasn’t having any of it. He stands up and points at the guy and then very loudly says “Listen mother fucker, you even try and get in my face defending your bitch of a wife for running her mouth and I will shove these chips so far up your ass you will be shitting change for a month.  You do this all the time. Get the fuck out of here if you aren’t playing and shut the fuck up RIGHT NOW!”.  Nice!  I just sit back watching the show.  Husband is just standing there, looking like he is trying to decide whether to retort or attack when one of the poker workers, a rather large one, approached and stood between them.  He turned first to the husband and told him that if he wasn’t playing to just leave, now. Then he turned to the other guy and told the dealer he was suspended for 1 orbit (1 turn around the table) for excessive swearing.  He had to ante and blinds when his turn but hands folded.  The player just sat down smiling.  Husband still stood there, fuming but not moving or saying a word.
Finally after what seemed like forever but was probably only about 1 or 2 minutes, he just turned and left.  The wife started to protest with the poker guy and he just told her to shut up and play cards.  She sat back down but didn’t like that, started going all in every hand and berating everyone when they folded.  Finally several hands later someone called her and took her out, so she left.  Now I get the urge to protect your spouse.  But when the spouse is the one that is starting the things, I am not so sure the protection should be in trying to start fights with the other guy, but maybe in getting your wife to stop and playing peacemaker. Glad those two left. Unfortunately about 30 minutes later so did I, as my 2 pair lost to a river straight.  Oh well.

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