“Just going to hang them in a garage…”

One of the machines we have here is what is called a Large Format machine.  Basically it is a huge printer for printing posters and banners.  We have a good machine but it does have its limitations.  We think we found one of them when dealing with a walk-in customer named John.

John walks in one day to get a few copies and finds out that we can print posters. Apparently he has this poster he wants to print to “give to some friends who are just going to hang it in their garage”. The poster itself is a diagram of an engine in very thin white lines on a solid black background.  I look at it and immediately think there is no way I want to print that.  The coverage in all black will be a bitch to keep consistent and not smear somehow.  Bossman thinks ‘no problem’ and says we’ll do it. So he prints it out and it looks like shit.  The black is smeared in one spot where it looks like perhaps the paper buckled a bit and came in contact with the print head.  So he does it again.  And again.  About the 4th time he gets what he thinks is a good print, but when John comes in there is a smudge right next to one of the white lines.  First glance we thought it was part of the design, but it wasn’t. We go to throw it away and he asks if he can have it. “I’m just going to give it to a friend who will hang it in their garage’.  I am about to say ‘sure, for $10’ when Bossman says “sure”.  So he gets a poster with a smudge and we do it again.   And again.

About this time we decide to try and send it out to a vendor of ours with a better machine.  We order 2 to meet the minimum and 2 days later they show up.  One is great, the other has a smudge, just like when we printed it.  So we call the guy and Bossman finally gives up and say that we can’t do it and guarantee that they will be smudge free. I start to gather the bad posters up and John than says “Are you just going to throw those away, I’m just going to give it to a friend who will hang it in their garage”.  OK, first off I don’t give a rat’s ass what you are going to do with them. YOUR use of the product doesn’t make it cost me any more or less.  And this being at least the third time that I can remember you saying that phrase just makes me want to strangle you. So before Bossman can say anything I say “Well they cost us $20 so you can have it for that”.  They only cost is $10 so this way I can get back some of the others as well.  “Well they are just going in a garage” he says again.  WTF dude!  I DON’T CARE!  So I just stare at him while swearing at him in my head and he pulls out a $20 bill.  I roll the posters up and hand them to him and say “Thank you” with a smile.  Go hang THAT in your garage

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