Yes, I can be an asshole

At work today:

Phone rings, I answer: “…may I help you?” After about 15 seconds I get a click then a ‘Hello?’, so I say again, “May I help you?”

“Hello sir, this is Mary with <ommitted> for Breast Cancer Research. As you are aware it is Breast Cancer Awareness month and we are looking for donations to increase the awareness and further research into this.”

Me: “I currently donate for that thru a few other charities so I won’t be making an additional donation with you today”

Her: “Sir, apparently you are unaware of how serious of an issue this is. if we sent you out a pledge card for only $25 could we count on you to send it back?”

Me: “First off, there isn’t a person alive in the United States that isn’t ‘aware’ of breast cancer, what with the constant shoving of pink in our faces for a whole month on everything imaginable, including football uniforms. On that I think you have succeeded. Now for the other stuff, I already told you I currently donate. I am well aware of the severity of this issue, as well as that of prostate cancer which gets scant attention called to it due to the out-sized success of your marketing campaign.”

Her: “So that would be a no? How about a $15 pledge card?”

Me: “Did you read that in a sales training book somewhere to never take no for an answer and always be closing? Did you watch GlenGarry Glen Ross one too many times? I was polite the first time, snarky the second, now I am being rude. My answer is no. Good bye”

Then in the background I hear, very muted ‘asshole’ and she hung up. She wasn’t wrong.

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