Spiders

So the spiders around my house have been particularly busy the last month.  Every time I go outside I  see a new web spouting up somewhere, often right where I don’t want one.  There is a tree next to my driveway with a few lower hanging branches.  Well every few days some enterprising spider decides to try and trap up between my mirror and the tree branches overnight, causing me to walk into that invisible tangle of doom. On the back porch there was a spider that decided to literally tangle the whole opening of our patio door, sending Mrs. PoP into a fit, demanding that I kill it.

Now I HATE spiders, they freak me out, but I realize the good they do in eating other bugs I also hate.  So I relocated him to the far edge of the deck.  He seemed to be undeterred by his new locale as the next morning he had yet another HUGE web spanning between the deck edge and 2 chairs.  OK, that is too far, I need the deck space, so I once again relocated said spider, this time to the back fence.  The neighbor’s side is pretty swampy so he should have all the bugs he can eat down there. 2 days later, not only is there a huge web down there, but ANOTHER one on my deck, with the spider looking to be the size of a damn golf ball!  It was HUGE!  I killed that one.

Well, spiders got their revenge today.  Walking to my car, I have gotten into the habit of waving my arm in front of me to ward off any new construction projects that I may walk into.  Today my arms were full  and of COURSE there was a web that I walked into. I did the obligatory crazy dance as you try to remove the web, looking to the world like you are having a fit since they can’t see the web either.  But it gets worse.  About 30 minutes after I get to work, I feel something crawling on my neck and swat at it.  It was a fucking spider!  THAT SPAWN OF FUCKING SATAN  must have hitched a ride with me to make me pay for my destruction.  Well, that didn’t end so well for Mr. Spider, as he is now a clump of mush in my garbage can.  But damn if I am not jumping with every itch I have today.  I hate spiders…

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