Holy crap!

OK, not sure if this will translate into print well, but I am going to try.  So last night I was at bowling.  (I bowl on Tuesdays)  We were on lanes by the the end and there were maybe 20 empty lanes to the side of us.  Well I needed to use the restroom (several beers to get rid of) so I made my way to the one on this end of the lanes.  Most people use the other one closer to the bar, but this one was closer to me. It appeared to be empty as I got there and I proceeded to pee.

Just as things start flowing I hear this really loud, deep, wet-sounding ‘bbbbrrrrrrfrrtttttt’, followed by someone screaming “Oh my fucking GOD that hurt!  Oh man!  Shit”, followed by some panting.  WTF!  I didn’t realize anyone was even in here and now I may need to call someone an ambulance or something after that.  Wow.  Then seconds later another thunderous ‘bbbbrrrrrrrthhhhhrpp! followed by more screaming, obscenities and labored breathing.. By now I just want to get out so I am trying to coax my bladder to empty faster.  As I am finishing up there comes a third “bbbbbrrrrrfffrtpppttt!” accompanied by a “Aw MAN, that fucking HURTS!”

I zip up and wash my hands, eager to leave.  Just as I grab the paper towel I head a loud belch, rivaling the farts in sound and reverberation. For some reason that made me pause just long enough to hear him say “At least that didn’t hurt…” and then he started singing!?!  “Fart, fart fart, whats that smell!  Fart fart fart, who cut the cheese..”

I just left, shaking my head.  Get back to my team and it took me a few minutes to figure out how to tell them about this.  All the while I kept looking down there to see who the hell that was but didn’t see anyone leaving.  Hope the guy is alright…

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