Sales caller saved by a priest

We get sales calls here.  A lot of them.  In a typical day we’ll have at least 4 people call looking for the owner, plus at least one looking to get in touch with either whoever handles the merchant account, whoever pays the ComEd bill (electric) or whoever handles the outgoing shipping.  Now I have done cold calling before, it sucks.  I have done telemarketing before, that sucks worse.  With those in mind I TRY top not be rude to these people, unless they give me a reason to intentionally or otherwise.

So for the last 8 days we have got a call from the same place looking for the owner.  I know it is the same place because the called ID comes up with no name, just the town, which is a very small town south of here.  The number has also ALMOST been the same.  The first time it was 205-2556.  The next time it was 205-2588.  Then 205-2535.  And so on with just the last two digits changing.  And don’t worry, the numbers are all fake when you call them back, I tried.

So as I was saying, I TRY and not be rude.  They get the same speech everyone else gets: “The owner isn’t here and is very rarely here.  This is more of an investment for him and he shows up maybe once a week for an hour or so to drop off checks and pay some bills. Your best bet to get a hold of him is thru email.” And if they ask for the email, I give it to them.  So with this place the first 6 times they just say no and hang up or just hang up.  The 7th time  the lady on the phone says sure, what’s the email?  So I give it to her.  Perhaps that will end this round of calls at least?

Wishful thinking on my part, for sure.  Yesterday we get yet another call from them.  I am already having a bad day being sick and having uncooperative machines so I am going to be testy. They ask for the owner again so I start off:

“He isn’t here. I have told you people for the last 8 days that he isn’t here and yet you keep calling.  Email him or stop calling here”

“I’m sorry about that, I have no records of us calling here before”, she says.  Well that is possible, if you don’t get your contact person the number is probably recycled, but I don’t care.

“Email him or stop calling here”, I say, a definite note of anger in my voice.  I am feeling my anger rising and want this to end now.

“Is his email xxxxx” she asks, reading back to me the email address I gave them yesterday.

“Yes, that is the one I gave the lady YESTERDAY, which she obviously made a note of since you just read it. Stop calling.” If this person can’t detect the anger in my voice by now she is mentally challenged.

“Well we need to get a hold of him”, she says again, sounding very testy herself by now.  Nope, we’re done here, time to go off and move on.

“You don’t need to do shit except stop fucking calling here” comes out of my mouth at an elevated level.  “I have tried to be nice to you retards but you keep fucking calling and calling and calling. Take no for an answer and move the fuck on!’  I can feel the swear words building inside me to an even more fever pitch.  Then just as I start to say the next line, the door opens up and in walks a priest, collar and all. I had just started to yell “YOU…” when he came in and I paused for a second as I registered who was before me.  I then finished up, at a lower level than my previous screaming, by saying “are lucky today that I can’t finish this.  Please don’t call ever again”. Then I hung up.

“Sounds like an interesting phone call”, the priest says to me.  “Depends on how much of it you heard”, I sheepishly say to which he chuckles and then shows me the print job he came in for.  So 205 number, consider yourself saved from my wrath by divine intervention.  Now get you ass to church!

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