My menu is messed up!

Low tolerance for stupid today. So I get a call today from a customer who is mad that her menu didn’t print right. We do lots of menus and it seems like when we do one, we will end up doing several during the same week. Call went something like this:
Caller: This is Joan. My menu is messed up.
Me: OK, who are you and what was the company or restaurant name?
C: You did it for me yesterday.
Me: ma’am, I myself printed 4 different menus last week and I believe the boss printed 2 more himself.
C: It was for my catering company.
Me (gritting teeth): And that would be…
C: They were printed on the ivory paper stock.
Me: What was the company name?
C:  <she tells me the name finally>. Some of the prices are all messed up and not printed in the right spot.
Me:  I’m sorry about that. It seems that Lionel worked on that job and he isn’t here for about 2 more hours. I will try and find the file and see what happened to take care of that. Did you send us the file or did we create it for you?
C: I need this printed.
Me: I said I would be happy to print this for you if you just tell me what the file was since I am unfamiliar with it.
C: I can’t wait 2 hours for Lionel, I need it now.
Me: (pulling out what hair I have left) Ma’am, I said I would fix it for you if you just help me with some information.
C:  I sent him a Word file.
Me: (thinking, well there is your problem, you used WORD to create a brochure, you stupid ass) OK, I found your file, but it still converts with the errors you mentioned. And even the Word file is messed up. Can you save it as a PDF and resend it? I will run the new file as soon as you send it over.
C:  I need this file printed.
Me: WhenI print from your Word file, it is already messed up. That’s the way it looks on my screen. If you just save it as a PDF it will be fixed. I can’t do that on this end to your Word file. Word tends to layout different every time you change computers, especially when you are doing page layout, since it wasn’t meant for that to begin with.
C:  I don’t know how
Me:  You go to the save menu, and hit ‘save as’.
C:  I need this printed right
Me:  (banging head on desk) And I will be happy to do that as soon as I get a corrected file.  There is no way for me to print it correct from THIS file unless you want me to charge you for the time to fix it.
C:  How do I do that
Me:  (mentally strangling her) Go to file, and select ‘save as’
C: OK, I’ll try

That was 45 minutes ago, still no file from her. is it that hard to ‘save as’?

2 hours later I get the file. It isn’t laid out right for a tri-fold brochure, but at least all the info is there. So I start to fix her file to lay out correctly. Then 5 minutes later she sends another file, a Word file. Then 2 minutes later sends ANOTHER PDF. So I call her and she says she isn’t sure she sent me the correct file. 10 minutes on the phone we still can’t tell which damn file is the right one. I tell her I am throwing away ALL of them and to send me just ONE PDF, and that gets printed. 15 more minutes later, get one PDF. Start printing, and when it is almost done she calls and says “maybe you can just print me one to make sure”. I sooooo need a beer. or four.

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