Day Drinking

My shop used to be located next to a small bar.  It was very convenient on those bad days, but mostly it was a pain in the ass. On St. Pats day they had an actual bagpipe band come in around noon and every 30 minutes they played. With paper-thin walls it was quite annoying.  There was also  a segment of the bar patrons that were just assholes.  Every morning I would find a few beer bottles in the parking lot or on my window sill, and always cigarette butts everywhere.  We have parking spots in the back which is where myself and my designer parked to save spots out front.  The bar used their 3 spots to build an outdoor covered smoking area.  On one hand you would think that would be a good thing, stop most of the idiots from going out front.  Too bad that didn’t happen, half still went out front.  And on a bad note, I couldn’t leave my windows cracked while parked in the back or my whole car wold smell like an ashtray.

So this story unfolds like this.  I come back from a delivery around 10 am and pull into my spot in the back.  There is some shirtless guy, drinking a beer on a cell phone leaning against my air conditioning unit.  Whatever.  I go inside and think nothing of it.  I got a car alarm which I can easily hear should this guy do anything besides drink his beer and go back next door.  After about an hour I realize that the bar didn’t open until 11.  Hmm, the guy must have wanted to start early or something.  I then put that out of my mind again and keep working.

30 minutes late I go to take out the garbage.  I open the back door and bump into a person standing there, and startle a few others.  It seems that the previous shirtless guy drinking a beer was now still shirtless, but instead passed out over my air conditioner unit, a unit which was going full blast and had probably been doing so non-stop for at least the last hour. The other people were a bar patron and 3 employees who were wondering who he was.  I told them I thought he was one of their drunks to which they replied that they had never seen him before. Someone poked him to see if he would move but that didn’t happen.  We could see breathing, but no movement.  So I emptied my garbage and called the cops.

Five minutes later they showed up and after looking at him called for an ambulance.  The paramedics showed up and managed to wake the guy and get him on a gurney, where he proceeded to spout off a bunch of gibberish.  Before they took him away, the only thing I could make out from a few feet away was him asking where his beer went to.  If he was referring to the 6 empty Bud Light cans laying around my air unit, seems they were gone.  How he could get drunk off of only 6 of THOSE beers is beyond me.  Lightweight.

So this upcoming 4th of July holiday, don’t be a shirtless passed out drink guy because of Bud Light.  Drink  real beer.

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