Invitations

I have to say that over my 27+ years of being I printing, the job I hate doing most is invitations.  Specifically wedding invitations. Bridezillas are now the norm instead of the exception and that just ruins the whole process.

First off, you can never charge what you SHOULD charge or you will never get the work.  Yes, I know that can be a feature instead of a bug, but if you want to make money you sometimes have to do the crap job.  But these crap jobs are just time-suckers. First there are the endless questions.  “Oh, I like this paper, how much?”   Then they change their minds on the paper.  Seven times. Next comes the design process.  They either have a grand idea of what they want or are completely clueless.  The ones that have a plan usually involve some elaborate cutting, foil stamping and glitter, all of which they are not getting from me, especially if they are on a budget.  The ones without a plan want me to just create it for them.  Look lady, I don’t know you.  I don’t know if you like trains or hate the color blue.  So what makes you think I can just whip up a design out of thin air that you will like?  I am not wasting my time to lay out an invitation with no direction for you to say that yo hate it and want me to go in a different direction.  Tell me what you want now.  Then comes proofing.  Here again you get one of two things happen.  Either they say ” Looks great!”, and then discover a typo AFTER you have printed it (and expect me to reprint for free), or they give you change one at a time instead of all at once, dragging the process out for days. Often they want you to do the changes while they wait, not caring at all about the 20 other jobs that were there before them

Last comes the bill.  Like I said, you can never charge enough to cover what you should have charged them.  The 30 minutes quoting, the 10 phone calls changing the specs and quantity, the 30 minutes design and the 2 hours of revisions should all add up to a huge chunk, but they don’t. So now you have a bill with all that plus the printing of 250 invitations, envelopes and rsvp cards and you tell them the bill is $300. Shold be double that, but it isn’t.   That’s when the bridezilla pops out (often times it is the mother of the bride, but still applies).  These people think nothing about spending $5000 for a dress they will wear once, and extra $1000 to put a centerpiece on all the tables and $2400 to release doves after the ceremony, but tell them the invitations will cost $300?  They act like to are pointing a gun at them demanding their purse. Why the fuck do they always want to cheap out on the invitations?

I get more jaded the older I get. I hate weddings…

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