So today in Chicagoland we are being blessed with snow. Lots of it. There is probably about 8″ down already with more to come. The schools all announced their closing yesterday and if it wasn’t for ONE project I wouldn’t be here today. There is a group that has a ‘dinner’ on Saturday. They have known about this for months and the program booklet has been in the works for weeks. On Monday of this week I started receiving the ‘ads’ from her that she has received from the various people and businesses that donated money. Now the fun begins.
First, I think that half the people that donate money to things like this just don’t give a shit and do it to get the person off their backs. I say this because the quality of the ads they give me is shit. And that is being kind. The person running this one really tries most of the time, I will give her credit for that. She has a sheet with the pricing on it AND the size that the ad needs to be. A full page ad needs to fit into a 5.5 x 8.5 space, half page into a 5.5 x 4.25 space. These are all professional people she is going to so I KNOW they can read. Out of the 34 ads I had to deal with, only 4 were of the correct dimensions. Several were just someone throwing their business card at her. You people all suck. But you know what, I fix your shit, because I already built that into the price, knowing you assholes can’t follow instructions and the person running it really tries.
Now we run into the time crunch. I set the book and fix all her ads and give her a proof on Tuesday. Now I have to move ads all around because these same professional people are like 3rd graders. I can’t have person A’s ad on the same page as person B, person C has to be on the back cover and so on. Then she gets late ads that just change the whole layout. Mind you the event is Saturday (tomorrow) and I need a full day to produce this job.
Wednesday comes and we are still not ready to print. More ads come in. More shuffling of the pages happens. One ad drops out. Thursday comes and there is a wholesale change of the text on her agenda and intro pages. Come on people! I need to start this job! I get probably the 30th proof ready for her and she comes in and looks at it yesterday around 4:30. “Looks good”, she says “but let me read this over night and I will let you know first thing in the morning.” Fuck! it’s gonna snow tons tomorrow and I would rather just stay home. Just great.
Friday is here and after spending 40 minutes shoveling myself out of my garage and driveway, I am at work. Lot isn’t plowed yet but My SUV makes it thru it pretty easy. I get in early hoping to have an email or something saying to go, but nothing yet. So I ready the machines, get the paper ready, prep the files all set to go. Finally after 5 phone calls and 2 emails she responds back at 9:00 that we are good to go. Awesome! This only means I will be here until 5 or so, just what I was looking for. So I start running this job. I manage to get it to run on both machines halving the production time. I just finished the ‘printing’ part of this job 10 minutes ago. I stopped to eat a bit and check emails. Now I have to do all the bindery which will take the most time. I have to collate the black section with the color print section and the cover, staple and then trim the ends. Uh oh, phone rings. You guessed it, the customer called and asked if I started printing yet, she has a change.
And some wonder why I hate people so much…