Quick Hits

Going to try and post every few weeks some quick hits.  Things that are interesting (to me, at least) but perhaps too small for a single post.

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Things that would have got me expelled if done today:

Last day of senior year, several of us graduating seniors were running around the school with squirt guns.  Back in the day they were small, bright green or orange and in no way resembled anything like a real gun.  Still, not really allowed in school, even in the late 80’s.  So while waiting for our Humanities class to begin, my buddy jumps up and shoots at me across the room.  JUST as the teacher walks in.  This teacher was kinda a jerk teacher, real hard ass.  So he sees this and yells out “Mr. Jansen, just WHAT do you think you are doing?”, then sits down at his desk and just stares at my friend.  The silence is deafening. He then leans back and puts his hands behind his head, gets an evil grin on his face and begins to speak. “I should send you down to the Dean, which means you would get ISS and not be able to graduate tonight with the rest of your classmates. My reputation almost calls for me to do that”.  Then comes the dagger, “Instead, I won’t.  IF, and only if, you stand up here in front of the class and sing ‘I’m a Little Teapot'”.  

 The look on my friend’s face was a combination of joy at being able to graduate, fear at this attempt at public humiliation and puzzlement and this weird change of character from the teacher.  “Come on, get up here and let’s have at it”, the teacher said.  Slowly my friend stands up but he is frozen in place.  Suddenly 2 of our classmates said they would go up there and sing it with him, and ran up and grabbed him by the arms, led him to the front of the class, where the began to sing.  “You need to do the animation as well, don’t forget!”, chimed in the teacher.  So on our last day of senior year, my buddy and 2 of our cheerleader classmates stood that the front of Humanities singing “I’m a Little Teapot”.  Oh what I would have given for there to have been cell phones with cameras at that time…

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Ted looked like he was 30.  He was 17 with a full beard.  Needless to say, Ted bought beer for a lot of us.  One day we went on a field trip to see some dance troop downtown for our Humanities class.  I have no idea why we decided to do this, but Ted and I brought along a bottle of rum, which we added to our Pepsi very heavily. By the end of this dance thing, all we could see were colors moving about the stage…such pretty colors. The teacher found out afterwards and made our life hell for the rest of the year.  This was NOT the same teacher as in the Teapot story.
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Every year around Valentine’s Day, the cheerleaders would sell Roses that they would deliver to the person of your choice during school. This was a fundraiser for them.  I got the ‘brilliant’ idea for a practical joke to play on a guy I really didn’t like very much.  His name was Chuck, and we were in several classes together, including Journalism, which was the most laid back class ever.  I also need to say that I was being cruel, and I am sure there is am ‘ism’ out there for me making fun of his weight back in the day. We were pretty much free to come and go as needed while working on the school paper.  So I talk a female friend of mine into giving me one of her old bras. I put it into a box, wrap it up all pretty, spray a little perfume on it and attach a card that says ‘To someone who needs it, from someone who doesn’t”.   I then talked a cheerleader friend into ‘delivering’ it to the class that day for him.  She walks in, calls out a few names for roses and then calls out Chuck and hands him the box.  His eyes lit up as he sat back down, sniffing the box.  Not sure what perfume I used, but I guess he liked it. He reads the card, opens the box…and then storms out of the room.  He didn’t know who did it for months.  There is another story later about when he found out and that confrontation…

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