“Oh, I got a better story…”

A long time ago I used to have a press operator that was a master at making up stories.  I think all of them are just nuts from sniffing the press chemicals every day and this guy was a bit crazy as well.  However he was a good guy and a very good press operator.  However, that didn’t stop us from having some fun with him one day.

As I mentioned, he was good at making up stories.  If you did something, so did he, almost always better.  I bowled and heard tales of his bowling exploits, only to happen to be in the alley he bowls at one night and saw his stats on the sheets inside.  Not bad, but not what he said he could do.  One of our guys hit a deer with his car and messed up the hood and windshield, he hit one too and it ended up in his passenger seat. On and on he would go.  So one day we hatched our plan to see just how far he would go.

On Fridays we all ate lunch together, usually ordered a pizza.  So while we were gathered around the table I started talking about a story in the newspaper I was reading (yes, I know this dates me, an actual newspaper!) where a bus driver had a heart attack and a passenger jumped up to steer the bus to safety until they could stop.  I see the look in Jim’s eyes, but before he cold speak our sales guy chimes in “yeah, that happened to me and my wife on a bus trip to Tunicia!  the driver just keeled over and some people up front jumped in and stopped the bus before it hit anything.”  Jim’s eyes get even wider and as he is about to speak our CSR cuts him off “WOW!  That happened on my way to basic training also! The driver just clutched his chest and yelled, and me and another guy up front grabbed the wheel and slammed the brakes.  not before the bus his a few parked cars but wow, that was scary!”

By now this was KILLING Jim, he wanted to have a better experience but two people just had the same thing, with one being the person who helped stop the bus.  What would he do? We are all looking at him now, seeing the indecision in his face, and our designer chimes in “When I was in 8th grade the bus driver just jumped off the bus and said see ya later, leaving a bunch of 14 year olds in a moving bus with no driver.  Me and my friend grabbed the wheel and worked the gas and brakes and got us to school anyway.”  Jim looks like he is about to burst then he realized how made up the designer’s story is.  We all just stare at him and smile, waiting for his to do something. He just says “Fuck you all!” to us, as we all have a laugh.  Even Jim.

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